I HAVE THE INFO

How many sets of 20 sided dice do you think I had in 5th grade?

One of the pictures above is me in 5th grade. One of them is one of my nephews. He’s not a blood relation. My brother’s son is pretty much a facial amalgam of all things McKenna. Meanwhile, look at that kid! And then look at me at the same age!

Weird?

I was charged with…ok…I volunteered to take my newphew (MN) around and let my wife, her sister and her daughters do girly shopping at a suburban Delaware mal. We checked out the Apple store, and more thena couple video game stores.

Now, I sold my PS2 but I still have a hankering for video games like a diabetic wants sweets. We played Star Wars Battlefront II in some shop for like 2 hours. Meanwhile, MN wants Halo, mostly for the unfiltered chat channels where you can talk lots of smack. I sent his dad a link to a downloadable demo with all the of the appropriate caveats(sorry MN.)

All of the children in this family have access to AOL IM. Here is a classic chat between me and MN, who caught me at the end of a particularly long work week:

MN (4:54:49 PM): hello!!!!
MN (4:54:49 PM): hello!!!!
shootmckenna (4:55:32 PM): hello?
MN returned at 4:55:33 PM.
MN (4:55:50 PM): hi!!!
shootmckenna (4:56:00 PM): dude
MN (4:56:03 PM): how are you????
shootmckenna (4:56:03 PM): whats up?
shootmckenna (4:56:07 PM): I
MN (4:56:09 PM): 0
shootmckenna (4:56:10 PM): am working
MN (4:56:21 PM): **nothing
shootmckenna (4:56:24 PM): i thought you guys werent allowed on the computer
MN (4:56:27 PM): oh
shootmckenna (4:56:28 PM): during the day
MN (4:56:47 PM): its the weekend
MN (4:57:25 PM): *last day of the school week*
shootmckenna (4:58:01 PM): i hadn’t noticed.
shootmckenna (4:58:37 PM): can you now go back to playing 007?
MN (4:58:42 PM): whats the link you gave my dad?????
shootmckenna (4:58:43 PM): cause you need to work on your game.
shootmckenna (4:58:53 PM): oh i dont know
MN (4:58:56 PM): yea
shootmckenna (4:59:02 PM): Its on my laptop at home
MN (4:59:13 PM): how come????
shootmckenna (4:59:13 PM): dude, I totally want to play that star wars game some more
shootmckenna (4:59:16 PM): head to head!
MN (4:59:23 PM): mo too
shootmckenna (4:59:48 PM): save up some cash and buy it online
shootmckenna (4:59:58 PM): or use that toys r us gift card you have
shootmckenna (5:00:01 PM): hook it up!
MN (5:00:39 PM): that has 25$$$$$ not 50$$
shootmckenna (5:02:50 PM): dude
shootmckenna (5:03:03 PM): you have all this internet access and you dont know how to find games cheap.
shootmckenna (5:03:04 PM): sigh
shootmckenna (5:03:06 PM): 1 second.
MN (5:03:41 PM): who do you want to win the ncaa tortument??
shootmckenna (5:03:58 PM): go here
shootmckenna (5:04:04 PM): darth greivous.
shootmckenna (5:04:11 PM): this is the first edition
shootmckenna (5:04:14 PM): 20 bucks!
MN (5:04:21 PM): what!!!!
MN (5:04:39 PM): darth greivous???
shootmckenna (5:04:46 PM): villanova
shootmckenna (5:04:53 PM): or darth grievous
shootmckenna (5:04:58 PM): one of those teams
MN (5:05:06 PM): **general**
shootmckenna (5:05:13 PM): the team with the wookie point guard
MN (5:05:45 PM): wich one is that???
shootmckenna (5:05:53 PM): also
shootmckenna (5:05:58 PM): if you look at the link I sent you
shootmckenna (5:06:00 PM): on the right
shootmckenna (5:06:04 PM): you will see
shootmckenna (5:06:09 PM): ‘toys R us’ has it
shootmckenna (5:06:26 PM): for 20 bucks also
shootmckenna (5:06:34 PM): you can probably use your gift card online.
shootmckenna (5:06:46 PM): expect to spend the rest on shipping.
MN (5:08:03 PM): whats the link you gave my dad?????
shootmckenna (5:08:12 PM): ok
shootmckenna (5:08:32 PM): [MN], I am going to now tell you the same thing I told you before, I don’t have it here
shootmckenna (5:08:35 PM): although
shootmckenna (5:08:47 PM): a smart and resourceful internet user such as yourself
MN (5:08:55 PM): what!!??
shootmckenna (5:09:01 PM): has probably heard of these new websites called ’search engines’
shootmckenna (5:09:23 PM): with which one might use to find out all kinds of information on the world wide web
MN (5:09:37 PM): whats the url?
shootmckenna (5:09:47 PM): including the location of the page where you can download the demo of Halo
shootmckenna (5:10:11 PM): or find star wars battlefront for less then the amount that you have on a toys r us gift card.
MN (5:11:01 PM): i told you im not allowed to download!!
shootmckenna (5:11:58 PM): then why do you keep asking for the URL?
MN (5:13:06 PM): to get the link up you have to download it???
shootmckenna (5:14:07 PM): you have it backwards
shootmckenna (5:14:11 PM): with the link
MN (5:14:28 PM): huh??
MN (5:15:06 PM): what do you mean
shootmckenna (5:17:02 PM): you could go to the page
shootmckenna (5:17:10 PM): where you could then download the demo
MN (5:17:37 PM): i still dont get it
shootmckenna (5:17:52 PM): yes.
shootmckenna (5:18:07 PM): just go buy star wars battlefront already.
MN (5:18:16 PM): no!!
shootmckenna (5:18:23 PM): dude!
shootmckenna (5:18:29 PM): I want to play that game
shootmckenna (5:18:36 PM): You want to play that game!
shootmckenna (5:18:46 PM): you have enough on your gift card to buy it!
MN (5:18:46 PM): what if i dont wanna????
shootmckenna (5:18:51 PM): what are you waiting for?
shootmckenna (5:19:05 PM): Now you are just being silly.
shootmckenna (5:19:09 PM): I know you want that game.
MN (5:19:34 PM): not that bad
shootmckenna (5:21:34 PM): you want halo worse?
shootmckenna (5:21:41 PM): thats just crazy talk!
shootmckenna (5:21:55 PM): You cant be a wookie or general grievous in Halo
shootmckenna (5:22:02 PM): you can only be the master chief
shootmckenna (5:22:07 PM): in like 8 dfferent colors
MN (5:22:25 PM): i want halo more than bf 2
MN (5:22:34 PM): so??
shootmckenna (5:23:30 PM): dude, halo is an inferior game.
MN (5:23:48 PM): but its fun!!!!
shootmckenna (5:23:59 PM): fun it may be
shootmckenna (5:24:05 PM): but no wookies
shootmckenna (5:24:16 PM): let me brake it down for you 5th grade math style
MN (5:24:33 PM): wookies are crap!!!
shootmckenna (5:24:33 PM): Halo 2 + Halo 1 < Star Wars Battlefront
MN (5:24:57 PM): aaaaiiinnnttt!!!! wrong!!!
MN (5:25:23 PM): can you talk on bf2??
MN (5:25:34 PM): nooooooooooooo!!!
MN (5:25:49 PM): halo?yyyyyyeesssss
shootmckenna (5:25:50 PM): who needs to talk when you are a wookie riping dudes arms off?
shootmckenna (5:25:59 PM): I know I dont.
MN (5:26:18 PM): you cant rip arms off!!!
shootmckenna (5:26:50 PM): dude. You totally can.
shootmckenna (5:26:53 PM): but only as a wookie.
MN (5:27:17 PM): nooooooo!!you totally..CANT!!!!
shootmckenna (5:27:26 PM): and furthermore there is no time for talking when you are trying to assert galactic dominion.
shootmckenna (5:28:40 PM): do you think that the empire was atttacking the rebel base on Hoth, the ATAT pilots were all ‘Did you watch Kim Possible yesterday. LOL, IMHO best episode EVAR!!!’
shootmckenna (5:28:48 PM): no. they were focused on the task at hand.
shootmckenna (5:28:54 PM): destroying the rebellion.
shootmckenna (5:29:11 PM): ergo, you dont need chat in a video game.
MN (5:29:57 PM): yes i no. but what if you are tring to talk regulary to a friend?????